🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?